Always Page 2

  beautiful girlfriend.

  James saw me as I approached, pulled his ear away from her mouth, and smiled. I returned the smile, then diverted my gaze as best I could to walk around them and into the classroom where the teacher pointed me to a seat near the back.

  I shared a lab table with a burly jock in a letterman’s jacket who looked me over and introduced himself as Lane. He leaned toward me and a toxic cloud of what had to be an entire can of Axe body spray violated my personal space and made me instantly nauseated. I leaned away.

  “You’re new.” Lane stated factually.

  I nodded and took shallow breaths.

  He flashed me a smarmy smile and leaned closer. “What’s your name, new girl?” I uncomfortably leaned away from him again. I did not like this creep at all!

  “Hey, Tati.” James made eye contact with me then furrowed his brow as he walked down the aisle between tables. As he took a seat behind Lane, I turned and gave a shy wave.

  Lane looked back at James, then at me, and cooed, “Tati, the new girl.” The way he said my name caused the hair on my arms to stand up. Trying to ignore him, I busied myself with removing my notebook and a pen from my backpack, but the guy wouldn’t let up. He leaned in closer, propping his leg up on the base of my lab stool. His knee pressed into my lower back as he whispered in my ear with a hot, wet breath, “Naughty-Tati.” He pulled back and smiled as he tipped his chin up toward me and sucked in his bottom lip; his eyes landed on my breasts and stayed there. I glared at him, adjusted my body further away, and crossed my arms and legs.

  “Yes, Mr. Smith, what is it?” the teacher questioned the person seated just behind me.

  “Mrs. Olsen, may I please switch seats with Lane? I can’t see the board well from back here. His head is too big.” Giggles erupted around the room and I peeked over my shoulder when I realized it was James asking. He gave an intense stare to challenge Lane when he turned around to face him.

  “Mr. Smith, why didn’t you bring this up sooner? You’ve been in my class for weeks.”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Olsen. I should have said something sooner. I thought I could make it work, but I can’t. No matter which way I lean, he’s blocking most of the board and now that he has someone next to him it’s even more of a challenge.” The strict teacher nodded.

  “Mr. Johnson, trade seats with Mr. Smith.”

  Lane looked back at the teacher and muttered, “Whatever.” As they swapped seats, the teacher quickly adjusted her seating plan and introduced me as a new student.

  James gave me a sly smile as he leaned over to nudge me with his shoulder. He leaned even closer, the fresh, clean smell of coconuts wafting toward me, his green eyes catching the light and drawing me in. He whispered, “That guy is an ass of the highest order. I had to save you.” I mouthed a silent “thank you”. He grinned as he righted himself on his lab stool and began to take notes. I couldn’t help but smile.

  ✽✽✽

  As our science class ended, James looked at the schedule that I had placed on the table. “Where do you go next?”

  I ran my hand down to fifth period and read aloud, “Room 217? Trig with Ms. See, and then PE on the main field for sixth.”

  James crinkled up his nose. “Ms. See? Ooof. She’s … interesting.” I gave him a worried glance. “No, I mean don’t worry. She’s nice and you’ll learn a lot, but she takes some getting used to. I have calculus in the room right next to you. It’s upstairs, I’ll walk you to class!” I was thrilled by the offer.

  We left the biology lab and chatted about him loaning me his notes to get me caught up with what I had missed, but as we entered the hallway a sing-songy voice interrupted, “Ja-ames! Hi, babe.” We both turned in the direction of the voice. It was the blonde. James’ smile dropped from his face and he turned toward me. He sighed.

  “Your class, 217, is just up the stairs and to the right. I’ve gotta...” He gestured toward the girl as she grabbed his arm and pressed it to her breasts. He gave me an apologetic grin.

  “Babe, I missed you,” she baby-talked. Her tone changed as she made eye contact with me, “Who’s that?” Her eyes flicked down my body in disgust. Feeling judged, I regretted wearing my basic jeans and t-shirt for my first day.

  I cringed a bit, but quickly recovered with a tight smile. “Hi, I’m Tati.” I offered a small wave. “I’m new.” She dismissively blinked at me and stayed silent.

  James, sensing the tension, introduced her to me. “This is Brittany.” She remained silent but pulled him closer to her. It was awkward.

  “So upstairs then?” I addressed James and he nodded. “Thanks. Nice meeting you, Brittany.” I turned and jogged to my next class.

  ✽✽✽

  My math class went by in a blur. I was fighting to focus on the calculations I was supposed to be doing. I was usually a good math student, but this was frustrating. The way the teacher talked in circles made no sense. Note to self, a tutor was definitely in order. My thoughts went to James who already took this class, maybe he could be my tutor?

  After trig I headed to the locker room to change for PE. I quickly changed into my new gym uniform - the Lincoln High logo distorted across my chest. I pulled at the shirt to loosen the fabric and when I raised my head Brittany was standing in front of me with her eyes blazing.

  I smiled, “Hi, Brittany.”

  She glared at my greeting. “James is my boyfriend. Stay away from him or you’ll regret it.” She turned quickly to rejoin her small group of friends who all looked like clones and they walked out to the PE field. My heart raced as I followed them to class.

  ✽✽✽

  A few days later, I felt more settled in at the school and I made some nice friends. They were outcasts in a sea of superficial cliques, but I felt a kinship immediately.

  I sat next to Finn at the back of the room in English and I was immediately smitten. He was one of the coolest people I had ever met. He had deep dark skin, golden brown eyes, and his hair was picked into a natural afro. He wore hipster gold-framed glasses that drew attention to his beautiful eyes. Every day he would wear a different obscure band’s t-shirt and he would play me a song or two of theirs on his iPod.

  Finn was intelligent, hilarious, a talented painter and guitarist, an Air Force brat like me, and was just my type. He was also a self-proclaimed “proud queer” and he told me that he was one of only a few out kids at school. We became friends on my second day of school and had been hanging out every day since.

  After Finn and I hit it off, he introduced me to his friends Kelsey and Samuel, who sat at the front of our English class together. Kelsey and Samuel had been best friends since preschool and were inseparable. They even looked similar.

  They shared clothing and dressed androgynously most of the time. Kelsey had a shaved head and her strawberry blonde fuzz shone in the light. Samuel’s hair was shoulder length and a vibrant coppery red. They both had icy blue eyes, freckled skin, and slim builds. I thought they were twins, which had them doubled over in laughter when I asked because they were actually a romantic couple. I loved them both instantly!

  The interesting thing about Samuel and Kelsey’s relationship is that Samuel is Deaf. He has an interpreter for his classes, and he and Kelsey use American Sign Language to communicate with each other. When his interpreter isn’t around, like at lunchtime, Kelsey interprets for him. They’ve been teaching me some ASL during our lunch breaks and I’m catching on quickly. We also text each other a lot in our group when the conversations get too fast for Kelsey to keep up with, especially since Samuel loves to talk a lot.

  The four of us quickly bonded and it helped me pass my days a bit easier. I had found my tribe.

  4

  It had been about two weeks since I started at Lincoln High when my mom went back to work at her new job as an Emergency Room nurse at the local hospital. She’d been a Nurse Practitioner for 22 years and was quickly adjusting back to the schedule and stresses. Luckily, she worked days, but she was placed
on a 12-hour shift schedule starting at 4:00 a.m. I no longer had my running buddy in the morning unless she had a day off.

  Fortunately, I knew all our regular routes and distances, so I continued the routine without her. On one such day, I wanted to push my distance a bit more to try to run ten miles before school, so I set out earlier than usual dressed in a reflective long-sleeved jersey and track pants. Dawn was just beginning as I eased into a jog to warm up.

  I didn’t think anything of it when a car passed me headed in the opposite direction, but when it did a quick U-turn I was on high alert. It stalked me for about fifty yards, so I picked up my pace. The car sped up to my side and the driver

  rolled down the passenger window. My heart thumped wildly as I became more nervous of the driver. I noted the quickest escape route.

  “Hey, Tati! I thought that was you!” Seeing that it was James my heart rate returned to normal.

  “James! You scared the crap out of me!” I leaned into the passenger window. “I thought you were a kidnapper or something!” He let out a low laugh.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. Going for a run?”

  I deadpanned. “Is it that obvious?” He laughed again.

  “Great! Don’t go anywhere! Let me lock up the car and I’ll run with you.”

  “You want to run? With me?” He shrugged his shoulder and nodded. “I’m doing ten miles today.”

  He considered it for a moment and then nodded. “Sounds great!” He raised the window, got out of the car and locked it as he walked toward me slipping the key into a pocket hidden in his waistband. I caught a glimpse of his well-defined abs as he did and felt a flutter in my stomach. “I was just heading to the gym, but this is better.”

  He started jogging down the sidewalk in the direction I faced and I joined him. “You run with your mom a lot. You guys are usually finishing as I get back from the gym. I’ve seen you race each other - you’re both pretty fast!” I recalled the day I caught him watching us from his car and smiled.

  “She works the early morning shift at the hospital now. She’s a nurse in the ER. I have to run alone now if I want to do the mornings.”

  He glanced over at me. “Bummer! Well, maybe I’ll run with you on the mornings I don’t have cross country meets. I may not have time for long runs every day, but I’m in!” I turned my head to look at his piercing green eyes set on my face. “I mean, if you want a bodyguard to keep the kidnappers away.” I couldn’t help myself, I laughed.

  “Ok, Bodyguard, you’re on.” He beamed as I tapped his shoulder. “Let’s pick up the pace.” I pushed our pace from the easy warm-up jog to a sustainable 7-minute mile which would put us back home just past 7:00. “Is this pace ok for you?”

  He gave me a sideways glance and grinned. “I’m on the cross country team, so it’s comfortable, yeah … but I’m

  expecting a good sprint at the end. I can’t let your mom have all the fun.”

  I laughed and replied, “Bring it on, Bodyguard!” We exchanged smiles then refocused on the road, establishing a synched rhythm with each footfall.

  For most of the run we ran in silence, lost in our own thoughts. Occasionally, James would look over me and smile and the butterflies would return deep in my stomach. I was feeling a lot of chemistry with him.

  “Hey I’ve been meaning to ask you if you could tutor me in trig? I think I’m starting to get how Ms. See explains things, but I could use some help on something I keep missing on quizzes before my test next Friday. I’ll pay you for the hour.”

  James beamed at me. “I can totally tutor you, but you’re not going to pay me. I’ll come over after practice one day next week if that works.”

  “Yes! Thanks!” We ran in silence for a few blocks, but my curiosity got the best of me. “So Brittany… is it serious? She’s really pretty.”

  James looked at me and his smile faded. “Um, yeah, I guess it’s serious? We broke up for a couple weeks, but got back together like two days ago … I don’t know. We seem to break up a lot, but then she always wants to get back together.”

  I reflected on the warning she gave me in the locker room about staying away from James. “She’s pretty serious about you, I think.”

  James’ jaw clenched and he pushed the pace a bit faster. I took it as a sign to end the conversation. Regardless of my feeling chemistry with him, he was already involved in whatever they had together and I respected that.

  We ran in silence for the next few miles. At mile nine, as we neared our neighborhood, James finally spoke again, “So, you move a lot?”

  “I’ve lived in six places in seventeen years.”

  “Six? Wow! I’ve lived here all my life. I can’t even imagine that! Where’d you move all those times?”

  I quickly ticked off each destination in my head remembering bits about each place and then breathily replied, “I was born in Washington D.C. When I was three, we moved to South Korea for a few years, then the U.K. Next was Hawaii when I was eight- that was my favorite, so awesome - then, back to D.C. for the past four years, and now here.”

  James stopped running and turned to face me looking deeply into my eyes. “And you’re ok with all that? I mean they seem like cool places and everything, but, that’s a lot and they’re all so different!”

  “Yeah, I have to be ok, right? We’re a military family. It’s how we do.” I started running again in silence, eyes ahead on the sidewalk. We ran for about a quarter mile when tears started forming in my eyes. Before I knew it fast tears were falling down my face and I couldn’t stop them. James stopped running again and faced me, putting his hand on my shoulder and leaning down to look me eye to eye. Knowing that he noticed me crying made things worse and my breathing grew more rapid. The tears fell in a steady stream.

  “Tati, oh my god! Are you ok? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”

  I swiped at my cheeks with my fingers as I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine. I’m being stupid. It’s not you. I just started thinking about how I miss my mamma and my best friend and … I’m such an idiot. Sorry.” He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe my nose. I gestured toward his shirt and laughed. “Gross, James, but thanks.” He nodded looking at his soiled shirt, laughed quietly, and regained eye contact.

  “Tati, you’re not an idiot. I’ve lived here my whole life and I can’t even imagine what you’ve been though, but I get it. I miss people, too … all the time.” He pulled me into a side hug and held me close. His hand rubbed up and down my arm and I leaned into him. An image of Brittany flashed through my mind and I broke away from the embrace and began to run again. “Shit, I’m sorry for bringing it up, Tati! I feel bad!”

  “It’s fine. I’m sorry. I’m not usually such a big baby. I’m fine. Really.” We turned the corner onto our street. Not wanting the great run to end on my being an idiot, I took a deep breath and smiled up at him. “Come on, Bodyguard!

  Race you the last half mile home!”

  I took off sprinting down the block feeling like my legs would give out any second. He came up beside me laughing hysterically and pushed the pace even higher. At the last second, he kicked out, cut me off, and won the sprint.

  We doubled over, hands on knees, chests heaving, and smiled at each other. “Tati, that was not ... a fair race. I wasn’t ready!”

  “Cheater! You cut ... me off! … I would’ve won!” He laughed, and his emerald eyes twinkled in the sunlight.

  “You’re fucking fast! You’re like a cheetah-girl hybrid. Damn! That was fun! Let’s run again soon, yeah?” He gently tugged at my ponytail. “I’ll see you at school, I have to go get my car from down the street.” He jogged away with a wave and a smile over his shoulder. I headed into the house feeling like I may have just become friends with James.

  ✽✽✽

  When I arrived at school, my lower back was starting to ache and my head throbbed. I hadn’t run that far in a long time and was probably dehydrated, so I downed half my water and went to Spanish class.

&n
bsp; By second period, the aches were getting worse and my stomach felt queasy. Finn noticed right away. “Tati, you sick? If you’re sick, get away from me.” He leaned far in the opposite direction, looked at me side-eyed, and shooed me away with the hand closest to me.

  “No, Finn, I’m not sick, but good to know you won’t be the one I call to nurse me back to health if I ever am.” He chuckled and righted his posture to face me. “I did a ten-mile run this morning. I think I just need to drink more water and eat a protein bar. I’m achy.”

  This back and forth exchange about my health continued into history class and at lunch. “Seriously, T, you are looking like you want to kill someone right now. You in that much pain?”

  “Finn, I’m fine.”

  “I’ve got some ibuprofen,” Kelsey offered up the bottle shaking it like a rattle. Samuel nodded his head in agreement that I should take something.

  “No, I think that’ll make me more nauseous. Thanks, though. I’ll be fine! I swear. I ran too hard this morning and now I’m paying for it. I think I just strained the muscle that runs along my waist from my back to my front.”

  Finn joked, “Serves you right, running ten miles before the crack of dawn. Who the hell does that on purpose unless someone’s chasing you?” I grinned with the memory of James from this morning. “You have a funny look on your face, T. Was someone chasing you?”

  “Haha, no. No one was chasing me … I’m fine, I swear! I just need an epsom salt bath and some arnica gel to ease my muscle strain as soon as I get home. I cramp and get bad headaches when I’m dehydrated. Gotta go refill my bottle! See you all later!”

  ✽✽✽

  After refilling my water bottle, I headed to biology. As I turned the corner, I was daydreaming about how sweet James had been this morning on our run when I ran smack into him. He was locked in a heated kiss with Brittany. I knocked them off balance and found myself splayed on the ground.